Time Travelling Revelations
by Team Edward Rules All
Summary: What if just before the infamous goodbye scene in the forest, someone gave Edward the opportunity to travel backwards into time to see what would happen if he left Bella, just as he was about to say the fatal words in the forest.
1. The Forest

**Time Traveling Revelations**

**I've finally gotten a full story length idea and here it is! I don't own Twilight.**

Leading her into the sinister and desolate forest to say the heartbreaking and false words, which would divide us forever were almost impossible for me to even utter but I knew that I had to do it if I wanted to salvage her life, if she meant anything to me. How I wished that I could turn around with her grasped tightly in my arms and live eternity with her but that would be undeniably selfish of me and I owed her that much, being the deplorable person I am. I knew her sadness over my sudden absence would be a tiny pinprick to the anguish I would experience. But her happiness was valued over mine and she deserved a better life then the one I could offer her. I wanted to walk forever with her by my side and stare at her impassive face forever but I knew that I had to stop here, at the end of the path and deliver the unbearable news. I tried to wipe my face of all emotion so the lies would come easily and she would believe them if she didn't accept my goodbye, which I was certain of.

"_Okay, let's talk_" She turned to face me, her face perplexed but somehow accepting. Did she already know of my plans? If so then why was she taking it all so coolly? My eyes were intent on her face as I answered. I didn't want to miss a second of looking at her face in the limited time I had with her but tried not to show it.

"_Bella, we're leaving_." I said the words that would break me. She took a deep breath but astonishingly still looked calm and collected. Maybe I doubted her feelings for me. My heart sank at those thoughts.

"_Why now? Another year" _She asked, clearly not understanding the meaning behind my words. Ah that was it, she thought she was coming with us. Oh Bella, how I wish you were coming with me.

"_Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over regardless" _Her expression was still bewildered so I decided to give her a cold hint by staring back indifferently as if she mattered nothing to me at all. Once again I wished fiercely that I could be the person she needed but knew it wouldn't prevail.

"_When you say we," _she whispered and I could see that she'd finally caught on as I'd intended.

"_I mean my family and myself."_ And you if I wasn't endangering your life

"_Okay, I'll come with you" _She told me after a few minutes of complete silence as she processed my vindictive but necessary words. Oh how I wish you could.

"_You can't, Bella. Where we're going….It's not the right place for you." _Now that was true out of all the lies I was yet to say.

"_Where you are is the right place for me" _How I wish it was!

"_I'm no good for you, Bella"_ Another truth but one I may have to twist into a lie so she'd let me go.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the very best part of my life" And of mine but I have to let you go. "My world is not for you," Another truth which I wished was a lie. "What happened with Jasper- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" Nothing but her being thrown into the path of a thirsty vampire, nothing but nearly losing her life, nothing but not even being able to hold her hand as Carlisle stitched her up in my own thirst. She thought what happened was nothing! "You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay" Back when I thought that I could keep her safe. If only she knew how much I wanted to stay and how much of me it would kill me to leave her.

"_As long as it was best for you," _Which definitely isn't it otherwise we wouldn't be in this situation and I would be content with life.

"_No! This is about my soul, isn't it" _She shouted, figuring out my true motives but I couldn't allow her to believe that, that was the case. If she did then she would never move on. _"Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you- its yours already!" _I took a deep breath and cringed internally as I realised that I'd have to take this a step further and hurt her even more than I'd already had. I'd have to break her heart and mine in the process.

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me" _I spoke the words slowly and precisely so she'd take them in and believe the lies I was feeding her. It killed me to deceive her, especially since the words could never be true in any sane universe. I would always want her.

'_You…don't…want…me?" _She whispered and I knew that this would be the most erroneous lie I would utter. Just as I was about to answer her with a cold and unfeeling lie, everything disappeared and I was left in total darkness. I cried out in surprise and shock and reached forward to see if there was anything in the immeasurable dark. I could feel nothing and wondered dully if I had been sent to hell for all the lies I had fed to an angel. Was this what hell was? Darkness and solitude? If it was then I completely deserved it and should be grateful that it wasn't' worse although I would endure the burning fires of hell if it allowed me to glimpse Bella even once more. A sudden vivid light began pulsing above me and out of it a strange angel-like creature glided down towards me.

"Who are you? Where am I" I questioned the strange being.

"I have no name and no species but that is of no importance" She replied, her voice glorious and her appearance beyond any human or vampire's beauty. Rosalie would have died of envy from it. What nearly sent me sprawling to the ground in agony was her uncanny resemblance to Bella although her eyes were the colour of dusk.

"Then what shall I call you" I wondered.

"Call me, Isabelle" She said, a hint of smile in her words. I cringed at her name which was similar to my beloved's.

"Or I could change it if you wish" She frowned, still looking more perfect than all the supermodels in the world put together plus all the vampires.

"Isabelle's fine" I faked a smile.

"Well, your story is an intriguing one and it's my job to show you what will happen if you leave Bella like you were planning. By the end of it, I am sure that you will be indecisive about your decision"

"I doubt that but does this mean I'm not in hell?" I laughed without humor.

"Of course. There is no way that someone like you, vampire or not, could end up in hell" She laughed.

"Well that's good to know. So how will this work?" I wondered.

"I have the gift of traveling through the past and future although the past will be irrelevant in this case, only the future matters"

"Well where are we now?"

"Just a place I have conjured up in where I can explain everything to you. Touch my pendant and we shall travel to a few minutes in the present" She ordered, gesturing to the ruby red pendant glistening on her neck, which I hadn't noticed previously. Before I could regret it, I leant over and put the tip of my finger on the pendant, feeling an odd sensation as I did and seeing the blackness change into the dismal forest.

**I know this first chapter is short but this was sort of a preview and I was really excited to put this up. If everyone thinks this is stupid then I won't put up the next chapter and I will delete it but if you like/love it then please let me know in the form of a review. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Search Party

**Chapter Two: Search Party**

**Wow, I didn't expect that so many people would like it! Thanks for all of the reviews, they made me feel great and caused me to feel like I actually have some writing ability. They also compelled me to write and put up this chapter faster. I really hope that it exceeds your standards. Here it is!**

I stared at the familiar surroundings of the forest, contemplating over why Isabelle would want to take me forward two minutes into the future. How could two minutes after I had left affect the rest of our lives? It obviously would otherwise she wouldn't have taken me here. I decided to ask anyway in case my sane reasoning was somehow incorrect.

"Why now, why not take me five years into the future" I asked her curiously.

"Because it all starts here. You will see what I mean" She told me grimly. I watched my past self run with inhuman speed, a look of pure torment on my face the second I ran, through the trees and into the unknown. I knew the unknown would be filled with anguish in any case. My attention turned back to Bella as I saw her face crumple and then become numb, stumbling after me and crying out my name to the sinister forest with no reply, her cries becoming more desperate and constant as it became clear that there was no one to respond to her pleadings.

"Why doesn't she just give up? Go home and start anew" I asked Isabelle frantically.

"She doesn't want to believe that you have deserted her and she believes that if she stops searching then it will all be over" Isabelle answered, looking at the disturbing scene in front of us. I was afraid to keep watching but knew it was vital so turned my head back to the scene that was enfolding in front of us. Bella was still searching urgently for me, tripping constantly until she fell and then didn't arise, curling herself into a ball on the wet bracken and reiterating my name without a break in the hope that I'd come back for her. I had no idea that she'd react so strongly, that I meant that much to her. Perhaps this was just her form of grieving and she'd get over me but I still didn't like the idea of her stumbling and lost in the forest with all the terrors that lurked in there. At least they were better than my kind; at least she had a chance if she received a paper cut. A tall, muscled Quiltine boy emerged from the trees and sighed with relief as he saw Bella. At least someone had found her! Now she could take the road to recovery and forget completely and utterly about me no matter how much pain it caused me. There was something about the boy that unnerved me but I shook it off, as long as he led Bella to safety then I wouldn't have an aversion to him.

"Who's that?" I wondered.

"Sam Uley. Charlie organised a search party and Sam was one of the volunteers" Isabelle explained.

"Well I owe him my life" I muttered.

"_Bella_" Sam called out in recognition. Bella didn't move and inch and remained in the numb state that had held her as its captive, only looking up when he began to advance on her. She just stared at him like he wasn't there, like she couldn't see or hear anything any more. It pained me to see her like this and I wished that at this second I could run over to her and sweep her up in my arms but that was impossible. Still, I had to ask.

"Isn't there anything I can do?" I begged in anguish.

"This will be Bella's future if you leave her which I know you were planning to and it's going to get worse" She said bluntly.

"It can't be, you must be mistaken" I contradicted, not believing that it could possibly become even a fragment worse than it already was.

"I know almost everything, believe me" She replied simply. I had nothing to say to that so I turned my attention back to the scene in front of us.

"_Have you been hurt?" _He asked with a frown, concern touching his features. Bella just stared at him like he hadn't spoken, as if she'd forgotten the meaning of the words.

"_Bella, my name is Sam Uley" _He spoke to her kindly, seeming like he understood the trauma she had just been through. No one could understand what she was going for except for me but I wasn't there to console her. I was the reason she needed consoling.

"Charlie sent me to look for you" He tried a different angle in an attempt to break through the barrier she had unintentionally created. I knew that this might work seeing how selfless she is and hoped it would. She still didn't respond but simply stared at him like she wasn't sure anything was real anymore.

"I can help you, do you need my assistance" Sam offered his hand out hopefully before shrugging and then taking her into his arms when she didn't respond. I knew she wasn't capable of speaking any more in her grief and Sam would just have to bear with her if he hoped to progress any further. The sight of her in someone else's arms triggered the feeling of jealousy within me but I reminded myself that she wasn't mine and never would be again. The image shouldn't even have produced jealousy, as she wasn't even holding onto to him for support, only sagging limply in his arms as if all the life in her had been sucked out of her. Sam began to run, his pace strangely faster than most mortals but not comparable to one of a vampire's. It was not long before he reached the others who had been searching and she was in safe hands again. All throughout this, Bella had not only been rasping my name over and over again but was rasping about how I was gone. Once again, I was astonished at how much she loved me and seemed to miss me. Missing me was an understatement it seemed.

"_I've got her" _He boomed to the others as soon as the others came into view.

"It all ends here right" I asked Isabelle shakily.

"Hardly, there is so much more you need to see, especially in the next few minutes and days" She informed me bleakly. I looked back to Bella in horror and sighed with relief as she was handed over to Charlie and heard Sam's reassurances.

"_Maybe I should hold her_" Sam offered uneasily as he saw Charlie struggle with her in his arms. I would rather have her father hold her then this stranger Sam. He seemed nice and all but I would prefer my beloved to be with someone familiar and comforting.

"_I've got her" _Charlie assured him. Yes Sam, I appreciate that you found her but can you leave her alone now. She's safe now. Charlie, along with a few others, walked slowly back to the Swan residence where Bella could finally rest. Bella's eyes closed as they neared the door but her body remained limp as Charlie assured her that they were nearly there. I had a feeling that a lot of people would have to be reassured today. I would also be on the list although I only had Isabelle to comfort me and she was in no way hesitant of being blunt so I wouldn't even bother to seek for it. I could see Charlie's strength failing as he carried her but he thankfully made it to the couch before he dropped her gently onto it.

"_Dad, I'm wet" _She finally spoke, her voice sounding dead and unaffected even though her words implied that she was. Charlie instructed some people who were hovering around them and waiting for some way to help, who complied without a word. One of Carlisle's colleagues made his way to Bella, addressing her anxiously as he took a look at her and heard the tone of her voice.

"_Dr Gerandy" _She mumbled in recognition, still sounding lifeless.

'_That's right dear. Are you hurt, Bella" _He questioned looking concerned. Bella's expression became perplexed for a second and then transformed back into the dead expression she had worn since I had left her. I desired at this second to wrap my arms around her in a permanent embrace but I knew that past or present, that wasn't possible.

"_I'm not hurt,"_ She whispered and I knew her face so well that I could tell that she was lying to appease the others. She may not have been hurt physically but I had hurt her emotionally. I felt sick to my core at this but reminded myself that eventually everything would be okay and she would be happy again with someone else. The doctor then began to check her pulse and ask her what happened.

"_Did you get lost in the woods" _He urged after getting no response. I doubted he would get a truthful one at this rate.

'_Yes, I got lost"_ She admitted, nothing in her expression or tone changing. The doctor had guessed as much and nodded as he continued his examination.

"_Do you feel tired?" _He asked seeing her drooping eyelids. She simply nodded and then closed them. I was pleased to see that she was finally going to have some rest. Why couldn't those people just go home now? They had achieved their purpose, why did they need to linger?

"_I don't think there's anything wrong with her" _Was he kidding? _Just exhaustion" _And having her heart broken, along with being told countless lies which she believed to be true. _"Let her sleep it off, and I'll come to check on her tomorrow," _He paused and looked at his watch, seeming mildly surprised by the time. _"Well, later today actually" _How long had Bella staggered through the forest unaccompanied? I would have left her at about four o clock pm! What I put my love through was astounding but she would get through it. She would have a better life soon enough.

"_Is it true? Did they leave" _Why else would your daughter be in such pain? He must have underestimated Bella's feelings for me and I for her. Didn't he see that I worshiped the ground that she walked on?

"_Dr. Cullen asked us not to say anything. The offer was very sudden; they had to choose immediately. Carlisle didn't want to make a big production out of leaving" _If only money was the reason we had to leave.

_A little warning might have been nice," _Charlie grumbled and I could tell that he had already begun to blame us for his daughter's mishap.

"_Yeah well, in this situation some warning might have been called for_" the doctor said uncomfortably, not wanting to disregard Carlisle. Bella seemed to have heard enough and I didn't blame her as she lifted the quilt above her face and seemed to drift in and out of consciousness. I wanted to hum her lullaby to her but knew she couldn't hear me in this reality. All the volunteers began to finally leave once they were sure she was settled and had heard all the information possible to pass on. Calls were constant throughout the night and all began with asking if Bella had been found and ending with Charlie assuring them that she was fine now. She was far from fine and I had caused it to happen. The only phone call Bella seemed remotely interested in was one about the bonfires the Quiltines had built in celebration of our absence.

"_They're celebrating the news" _Charlie explained to her when she asked. The thing was that Bella didn't even sound curious, she sounded dead. I really hoped that it would end soon before it all got out of hand.

"_Because the Cullen's left" _She whispered, something becoming clear on her face as she whispered my name, something full of torment and regret. Something of the worst pain I had ever seen her in. If it was that agonising, mentioning my family then I didn't want to hear her mention my name. Her pain was my pain and one I didn't bear very well. _"I'd forgotten about that" _

"_It's ridiculous" _Charlie muttered but I knew that if he really knew what it was all about then he wouldn't be on our side. He'd be out of here in a second. Charlie tried a difficult question by starting out with Bella's name to get her undivided attention.

"_How did you know where to find me" _She questioned, avoiding his question.

"_Your note" _He answered sounding surprised. You mean the note that I wrote in case she did thing I feared. He held up the note as evidence and Bella's face crumpled as she read it. It just stated where she was going so that Charlie would come looking for her if she got lost which was a possibility. It was lucky that I did write that note.

"_When you didn't come back, I called the Cullen's. Then I called the hospital, and Dr. Gerandy said that Carlisle was gone" _He explained looking at her anxiously.

"_Where did they go" _Bella mumbled but I knew that she already knew and that the words would bring her more unnecessary pain.

"_Didn't Edward tell you?" _Charlie asked her incredulously. Anguish even greater than before stretched across her face at the mere mention of my name.

"Does my leaving really affect her like this" I gasped, feeling horrified at what I was putting her through.

"Unfortunately it does and in worse ways than this" Isabelle shook her head mournfully.

"_Carlisle took a job with a big hospital in Los Angeles. I guess they threw a lot of money at him." _Charlie frowned. No amount of money could have torn Carlisle from Forks, only his children. Bella didn't answer but more pain swept across her face and I wanted more than ever to console her, to tell her that everything was going to be fine but even I didn't know the answer to that.

"_I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the woods" _Charlie insisted. I might as well have with all that turned out. I should have been more careful and said goodbye in a place where she couldn't get lost and endanger her safety. Bella shook her head, seeming like she was trying to escape the pain she was enduring and covered her ears as Charlie began to ask more important questions.

"_I can't talk about this anymore, Dad. I want to go to my room" _Bella told him, scrambling up and racing up into her room to escape the pain she was obviously feeling.

"Well at least she's moving and talking" I told myself positively.

"She won't be soon" Isabelle gave me a sympathetic glance. I watched as Bella ran straight to the CD player at the foot of her bed. Why she would check there is beyond me. She undid the latch and I saw her stifle a sob as she realised it was empty. Ah, I had taken the CD I had given her with me it seemed. Somehow I didn't think I did, perhaps I left it underneath her floorboards just in the hope that she'd never fully forget me in the future. Yes, I would have never stolen her things, but just hidden them somewhere for her to find at the appropriate time. She then moved on to the photo album, which I already knew would be empty of pictures of us. I would have taken them along with the CD. Sure enough they were gone from where Bella had placed them and once again Bella looked like she was going to sob. The only evidence of the picture being there was the writing, which to someone else wasn't exactly proof and Bella just could have been mental and imagined that the picture was once put there. She didn't even bother turning the next for pages to check. She understood. She knew. She then slid onto the wooden floor in her apparent agony and laid her whole body against it, even her cheek resting against the floor, as if she was hoping it would suck her up and eradicate the misery. For hours she just stayed there, lying on the floor, staring as if nothing existed anymore and in truth it didn't. For either of us it seemed.

"How long does this last for?" I asked Isabelle while cringing.

"I think you better just watch. We will watch another day go by and then go four months into the future" She informed me.

"Four months" I said faintly.

"Yes, it's four months until anything happens in her life again. All throughout those months she is in a numb state which no one can break her out of and does practically nothing but what its expected of her. She practically lifeless" Isabelle sighed.

"Okay then, take us to the morning and then I shall endure this day with her seeing as its my fault" I hung my head in shame.

"Yes, I will only make you watch just one day in those three months, the one that follows this day, so you can see the affect you had on her in the beginning of your absence"

"Well then, take me to the morning" I sighed.

"You know what to do" She sighed also. I tapped the amulet with my forefinger and felt the scene before me disappear before I could take a single breath.

**I know people have high expectations of this story as indicated by the number of reviews so I hope it was good enough. If you want me to update or just want to comment on the story's quality then please review. Thanks for reading! **


	3. Numb

**Chapter 3-Numb**

**This chapter isn't in New Moon but I thought I'd add the day after Edward leaves, which isn't mentioned in New Moon to the story to see what Bella was like the day after he left. Just in case you didn't know (which some people surprisingly didn't) the text in italic font is directly from New Moon. Thanks so much for all the reviews! I still can't believe the success of this story! (It may not be success to some people but getting nineteen reviews on the first two chapters already, is a succession for me) Here is the chapter!**

The place where Isabelle had appeared to have taken me looked exactly the same as where I had just been and I looked around me in bewilderment.

"Are you sure it worked?" I asked when nothing seemed modified.

"Positive! It's just that Bella hasn't stirred in the course of those few hours we traveled"

"She hasn't moved" I whispered.

"She's too caught up in the misery and feels numb to do anything at all" Isabelle informed me sadly.

"Hasn't Charlie done anything?" I asked desperately.

"He's tried but nothing will break her out of the state she's in"

"Why is she even like this?" I questioned.

"Why do you think" She sighed. "Because she loved you with all of her being and then you abandoned her without a second thought" I flinched at her disturbing but true words.

"I did it for her safety" I argued.

"Just saying it like it is and besides, she doesn't know that" Isabelle reminded me logically. I heard the creak from an opening door and turned to see Charlie and surprisingly Renee peering through the crack, allowing minimal light to filter into the room. Renee's expression transformed from skeptic to horrified as she surveyed her daughter's condition.

"I didn't think you meant that she was this bad. She's definitely coming with me now" Renee whispered.

"Yes, I think that's best" Charlie responded quietly opening the door a portion further. They then both crept into her room silently, attempting not to wake her although it was unnecessary as Bella was already awake, just staring at the dull wall like it wasn't there and containing the obvious pain inside of her so it wouldn't be subjected to an audience. Renee went to Bella's side murmuring assurances to her while Charlie began packing her things into a moderately large suitcase and Bella shut her eyes.

"It's going to be fine" Renee soothed, stroking Bella's hair in an attempt to rouse her. There was no answer but a harsh silence, which filled the tense air. "Your going to come live in Jacksonville with me now and everything will be fine" Renee murmured. Bella's eyes snapped open and she sat up abruptly. Ah, this must finally be the turning point. She must be excited to leave all her memories of me behind as I wished. Somehow that distressed me that she would without even a thought, leave all our memories behind her without a backward glance. I on the other hand would cherish them forever until the day I left this earth and my existence was no more.

"What are you doing" She demanded Charlie, her voice holding more emotion then before but still sounded dead to an extent.

"Packing your things Bells, you're going to Jacksonville now to live with your mother" He explained sounding confused and thinking that Renee had already clarified that point and wondering if he'd have to elaborate.

"NO, I'm staying HERE" She screamed louder than I ever had heard her scream before. Okay, so I guess she had the opposite reaction to what I thought. I should have felt infuriated at that but I felt pleased. I hated my selfish self.

"We think it would be a better idea if you went…" Charlie trailed off seeing Bella's livid expression.

"Absolutely NOT. I'm staying HERE" She screamed again to emphasize her point.

"Don't you think that it would help you to block your memories better" Charlie asked in disbelief.

"WHY would I want to block THEM? They are the only things I have now" She shrieked, tears cascading down her face as she contemplated leaving.

"It's not healthy to…" Renee trailed off also.

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LEAVE. IF I LEAVE THEN EVERYTHING'S OVER" She yelled, the tears streaming harder as the conversation progressed.

"Why does she think that?" I asked Isabelle, afraid for the answer.

"If she leaves then she'll think that you were just a fragment of her imagination since she can't imagine you in a place like Jacksonville" Isabelle informed me gravely.

"Fine, you can stay just calm down" Renee chastened, stroking her hair again.

"Don't make me leave, don't make me leave" She moaned, rubbing her face into her pillow and staining it with her tears.

"Well there seems to be some progress so perhaps if she stayed here then it would be okay" Charlie said anxiously.

"Well just call me if she gets worse. I'm going to miss my flight" Renee frowned checking her watch.

"Go, I'll stay with her" Charlie assured. Renee took one last fleeting glance at Bella and then hurried out of the room.

"You can stay, you can stay" He soothed, patting her back. She took a deep shuddering breath and then collapsed against the bed.

"Well there's not much to see from here on in so I guess I should take you four months in the future now" Isabelle frowned. I glanced once more at Bella's still form and then with out instruction, I touched Isabelle's amulet and prepared myself to travel into the future.

**Don't worry I'm not ending it here. It's way too short for my liking so I have decided to add the next part of Edward's depressing but insightful time travelling experience to this chapter (In New Moon the chapter is named **_**Waking Up**_**) **

Suddenly we were no longer in Bella's cluttered room but standing in front of the table, which Bella and Charlie were eating at although Bella wasn't exactly eating, she was just staring at her cereal and gripping the spoon tightly with no intention of eating. Charlie wasn't eating either and appeared to be just staring with concern at Bella who didn't even seem aware of his gaze let alone the cereal she appeared to be pondering over.

"You can't even hear what I'm saying" Charlie shook his head and then without warning, crashed his fist on the table to gain her attention. "_That's it, Bella! I'm sending you home._" This finally got a response out of her and I wondered how long he had been attempting to get one.

"_I am home" _She mumbled sounding confused but not even sounding remotely interested. She wasn't much better than before it seemed, squashing my hopes before they could even be built.

"I'm sending you to Renee, to Jacksonville"

"Are you sure its been four months" I asked Isabelle in confusion.

"Yes but like I said, nothing has changed unfortunately" She smiled sadly. Would Bella ever recover? She had to! Otherwise my efforts will have been pointless!

"_What did I do?" _She questioned looking genuinely confused as her face crumpled. Charlie began to scowl and I knew that to a third party it would be obvious about her behavior and that even she should know. Oh Bella, what's happened to you? Please, for me, return to the state you were in before I selfishly entered your life. Please.

"You didn't do anything. That's the problem. You never do anything"

Great. So first I ruin her life and then when I leave in an attempt to fix it, she is even worse than she was before I left. Wonderful. I should win an award.

"_You want me to get into trouble_?" Her expression became even more perplexed as she took in his words. I didn't understand it either.

_Trouble would be better than this…this moping around all the time!" _Okay that made sense now. Was she really that bad? What had I done?

"_I am not moping around." _She protested.

"_Wrong word, Moping would be better- that would be doing something. You're just…lifeless, Bella. I think that's the word I want" _He accused. She was in a worse condition than I had thought, how could I do that to someone like her, someone like her didn't deserve to feel such misery. For once I was remorseful over my actions but I needed to stick around to see if she improved in the end. If she did then I would let the events unfold like they were supposed too but if not…I had no idea! The guilt would consume me.

_I'm sorry Dad" _She apologised but the apology sounded dreary. She wasn't getting any better and it was scaring me.

"_I don't want you to apologise" _He sighed, thinking of possible ways he could break her out of this numb state which held her captive and coming up with none. He had tried everything but failed and was feeling very doubtful that anything would work. The only option now for him was too send her back to Renee in the hopes that she could help her in ways that he couldn't. I already knew that Bella wouldn't go along with it but admired him for trying.

"Then tell me what you do want me to do."

"_Bella, honey, you're not the first person to go through this thing, you know" _He tried a different angle. Was he about to suggest therapy? It scared me that it was an option to go to that limit. I was scared for my beloved.

"_I know that" _She grimaced but it seemed to have no effect on Charlie. I had a feeling that they had, had this conversation many times previously.

"_Listen honey, I think that- that maybe you need some help." _So it was going in that direction. I didn't like it one bit and neither would Bella. She was sane even if Charlie didn't realise it.

"Help?" Yeah, Bella wasn't going to like the direction this conversation this was taking at all. "When your mother left, and took you with her. Well that was a really bad time for me." Oh so Charlie was going to try and relate to her in the hope that she'd change. Good luck, the only thing that could possibly heal her was my return and that wasn't going to happen even though somewhere else in the world I was as miserable as her. "I know, Dad" She mumbled. "But I handled it" But you didn't go through what she did. " Honey you're not handling it. I waited, I hoped it would get better. I think we both know it's not getting better" She could still get better, she has to! Maybe all she needed was a change in her life. Or maybe she would never get better. If she didn't then I wouldn't know what to do except for hope. 'This is the future, it doesn't have too happen' I chanted internally. I'm fine" She protested and I knew that she could even hear the lie in her voice. "Maybe, well, maybe if you talked to someone about it. A professional" He suggested. If she did then she would be locked up for life for having mental problems. "You want me to see a shrink" Her voice became sharper as she realised what he was hinting at before. I could tell that she was thinking similarly to me by her expression and tone. "Maybe it would help" Not.

"_And maybe it wouldn't help one little bit" _I wanted then and there to run up to them and proclaim that Bella's mental capacity was normal and beg her forgiveness but knew that such a thing were not possible. This really wasn't helping my resistance, before long it will have crumbled to dust. Was this Isabelle's ploy all along?

"_It's beyond me, Bella. Maybe your mother" _

"_Look, I'll go out tonight, if you want. I'll call Jess or Angela"_

"_That's not what I want. I don't think I can live through seeing you try harder. I've never seen anyone trying so hard. It hurts to watch" _I cringed at his words and wished that there was no need for them in the first place. She was so selfless to keep Charlie from suffering although hiding her agony was impossible. I had to prevent this from happening! I would not allow for my true love to suffer such pain no matter how short. See! My resolve is wavering; I need to think of the long-term instead of the short-term.

"_I want you to be happy- no not even that much. I just want you not to be miserable. I think you'll have a better chance if you get out of Forks." _There is no way she'd comply especially after all these months. Her eyes finally left her cereal and she glared at Charlie, finally showing emotion.

"_I'm not leaving" _She said and I knew that her reasoning was still the same as it had been four months ago.

"_Why not" _He demanded, his eyes narrowing.

"_I'm in my last semester of school- it would screw everything up." _Excuse one.

"_You're a good student- you'll figure it out." _

"_I don't want to crowd mum and Phil." _Excuse two.

"_Your mother's been dying to have you back."_

"_Florida's too hot." _Excuse three. She loves the heat or at least she did when I was with her. Charlie wasn't having the excuses either and banged his fist against the table again impressively.

"_We both know what's really going on here, and it's not good for you. It's been months. No calls, no letters, no contact. You can't keep waiting for him" _Charlie reprimanded. If only he knew how much I'd love to call her, to write a letter to her and anticipate her reply, to contact her in some way or for her to at least know why I had left. But like before that was impossible and I wasn't even going to consider the alternatives.

"_I'm not waiting for anything. I don't expect anything" _She said tonelessly. If only she knew how much I wanted to contact and go back to her. 'Her pain will heal, her pain will heal' I chanted in my head.

"_Bella" _Charlie began but was interrupted by Bella's obvious rush to escape the conversation. I didn't blame her.

"_I have to get to school" _She placed her untouched cereal into the sink and then grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder, promising that she'd make plans with Jessica not even pausing to hear his answer as she hurried out the door with Isabelle and I trailing behind her. Isabelle then sped up the moment in time so that we were at Forks High and not wasting any unnecessary time. Bella was one of the first ones to get to school to her obvious distaste so instead of listening to music in her car like she would have before I left, she started reading calculus. Calculus! She must be trying to get her mind off everything and music, being emotional and all wasn't exactly welcoming when you wanted that. Another thing I had cancelled from her life in my absence. Someone like me shouldn't exist. I shouldn't have been born nor created if I was destined to cause this much pain in someone I loved.

"It will get better eventually" Isabelle comforted seeing my obvious distress. "But not in the ways you think"

"I wish you'd stop being so cryptic" I muttered. She muttered something as well about my leaving. What she said didn't make sense though because it was to do with her. Hmm I must have misheard.

The bell rang startling both Bella and I, Isabelle seemed unaffected as if she had heard it a million times, and perhaps she had seeing as she was a time traveller and a mystical being. Despite the bell, she continued to read the dull calculus and ended up rushing to her next class when she realised that she'd be late. No one sat beside her in English except for me but she couldn't see me nor hear me so it wasn't of any use. Just as she was packing her stuff up to travel to the next class, the vile Mike Newton approached her and started up a conversation about work with her. What frightened me was how she had to ask what day it would be in the following day. Mike didn't look surprised but he looked concerned. I felt jealously bubble up within me and then forced it down. She wasn't mine now and never would be again. Just the thought of that caused me to feel sad so I turned my attention back to Bella who was just exiting the room and off to her next class which happened to be calculus. Jessica Stanley was also in this class and I knew that's when the tricky part for Bella would begin. Jessica wasn't as forgiving as others so it would be a hard task getting her to do a favor. The stupid boy Newton caused her to be late to her next class but luckily the teacher didn't seem to care and continued on with his lecture like she hadn't even walked in. How could anyone ignore someone as good as her? Even a calculus teacher? Unfortunately for Bella, Mr Varner ended the class early and it gave her less time to think of an effective way to get Jessica to do what seemed like a favor for her. I knew that she could do it being the person she was. If only I was there and then all this wouldn't be necessary. I had really screwed up both of our lives, it seemed.

"_Jess" _Bella cringed. Well at least it was a start. Jessica twisted around in her seat with a look of incredulity on her face, which turned to irritation as she remembered how Bella had been ignoring her since I left. She was wrong! _She _had ignored Bella when Bella needed it the most. Couldn't she see that?

"Are you talking to me, Bella?"

"_Of course" _Bella widened her eyes to feign innocence. Despite the bags under her eyes, skin as pale as me, dark clothes and unkempt hair, she actually looked cute when she did that, once again causing me to want to run up to her and take her in my arms. Screw reality.

"_What? Do you need help with calculus?" _She sneered. Judging by how intently she was reading her calculus book before I knew even without having heard the conversation between her and Charlie that, that wasn't the case.

"_No, actually I wanted to know if you would…go to the movies with me tonight? I really need a girl's night out." _Bella asked uncertainly like it was a question.

_Why are you asking me?" _Wow Jessica must have been really offended but she should cut Bella some slack. Just because she'd act differently in the same situation didn't mean that Bella would too. Then again she would never have to be put in that situation and was lucky to have not.

_You're the first person I think of when I want girl time" _Bella smiled but it had no life in it as if it was forced. What I would give to see her smile blissfully again like she had with me.

"_Well, I don't know" _She frowned, obviously trying to think of a valid excuse.

"_Do you have plans?" _Good one Bella.

"_No…. I guess I can go with you. What do you want to see?" _Jessica gave in but still looked wary.

"_I'm not sure what's playing," _Somehow this still shocked me although it shouldn't have. At least she seemed to be recovering now. Seemed to be._ "How about the one with the female president?" _Wow that one was out when I was still in Forks! Jessica gave her an odd look and then became concerned, as it should.

"_Bella that one's been out of the theater for forever." _Jessica gave another disturbed look. Bella frowned, realising her mistake and looked like she was trying to think of a way to cover up her error.

"_Oh. Is there anything you'd like to see?" _Here we go.

"_Well there's that new romantic comedy that's getting great reviews. I want to see that one. And my dad just saw Dead End and he really like it." _

"_What's that one about?" _She can't even see a romance movie anymore? It must kill her to see a fictional character's love life work out for them while hers can't. If I don't leave…. oh here I go again! I have to stay out of her life!

"_Zombies or something. He said it was the scariest thing he'd seen in years." _

"_That sounds perfect." _ She used to hate horror movies because they gave her nightmares but I think romance would do the same to her now. What have I done?

"_Okay." _She replied sounding stunned and then smiling in an effort to be friendly before she exited out of the room. The rest of the day was uneventful but showed me how much my absence had affected her. She sat alone at our old table for crying out loud. Why couldn't someone just go over and sit with her? I hated seeing her so alone in her misery and wished that people were kinder than they actually were but wishes were for fools and it didn't surprise me that I was one. Isabelle informed me that trailing behind Bella for the rest of the day was pointless so she took forward in time to a few hours when Bella was getting ready to have her "girl's night". When she opened her closet, I was astounded to see all her pretty and vivid clothes in a garbage bag stuffed at the back of her closet and the stereo that my family had given her. I guess it was too much for her to handle and didn't blame her one bit. Anyone would have done the same and would hate to be reminded of such things. If only she never got that paper cut and we would be fine and I would have never considered leaving in the first place. How I want to stay by her side for eternity now! She stared at the stereo as if she was remembering like I was and then hastily grabbed her purse from where it hung and raced out the door and into Jessica's waiting car.

"_Thanks for coming with me tonight," _Bella told Jessica as soon as she clambered, her tone mild with gratitude as if she had to work to make it sound like it was there.

"_Sure. So, what brought this on?" _Jessica pondered aloud and in her head.

"_Brought what on?" _I hoped that Bella was just saying that to feign innocence instead of actually meaning it.

"_Why did you suddenly decide…to go out?" _Jessica questioned curiously. In her head I could tell that she was going to say 'Why did you suddenly decide to not ignore me anymore' and was glad that she wasn't going to be rude. Bella deserved more than that.

"_Just needed a change." _And to keep Charlie sanity at an appropriate level.

"Uh, oh" I muttered as a romance song began on the radio and knew what Bella's reaction would be. Just like I had guessed, Bella reached for the radio dial asking Jessica apprehensively if she minded which of course Jessica didn't. She kept moving through the stations until she found a rap song, which seemed harmless and had no mention of relationships.

"_Since when do you listen to rap?" _

"_I don't know. A while." _You mean never. Jessica then launched into a conversation about something trivial with Bella just nodding in response and not really listening. 'I didn't blame her' I smiled.

"Finally, something other than the pessimism I have seen although that wasn't really a smile" Isabelle laughed.

"Why do you say that?" I demanded.

"Don't you see, you're becoming as dead as her or at least you will when you leave her" Isabelle said softly.

"My happiness doesn't matter" I snapped.

"Always was that way" she muttered. Huh? Isabelle really was a puzzle to me but that didn't matter right now. Bella did! I turned my attention back to the scene and saw that they were finally in the movie theatre; I had been drifting along without even noticing it! The movie started and I cringed as I realised that the start was full of gushy romance and that Bella would be feeling overly uncomfortable right now and may even be experiencing pain. Her face portrayed her pain but she hid it well and luckily Jessica couldn't tell.

'I thought we picked the zombie movie," She hissed.

"_This is the zombie movie."_

"_Then why isn't anyone getting eaten?" _

"_I'm sure that part's coming" _Jessica whispered sounding alarmed.

"_I'm getting popcorn. Do you want any?" _She better hope that the line is long enough so that the romance part is finished before she got back. It wasn't doing anything good for me either, as like her, I didn't like how everyone else could get a happy ending but we couldn't. The thought of it made me sick so I was content to follow her when she stumbled out of the doors and to the concession counter. She waited a full twenty minutes before returning to her seat after making sure that romance had made its way out, bringing popcorn so that Jessica would believe her flimsy excuse. The movie was pretty cliché but that wasn't the reason why I wasn't paying the slightest attention to it, I was staring intently at Bella. Suddenly when the movie was at its climax, Bella's face turned to one of horror and pain as she ran out of the movie theatre and onto a waiting chair. I racked my brains for something that may have upset her in the film and knew that it definitely wasn't to do with how frightening the movie was.

"Why?" I questioned turning to Isabelle.

"You probably shouldn't know" Isabelle said hastily, looking away.

"Is it important?" I wondered.

"No, otherwise I would have told you" She admitted. When I looked back to Bella, I saw that she was conversing with Jessica and Jessica looked very annoyed. I guess conversing was the wrong word then.

"I'll bet we're going to have nightmares tonight"

"_No doubt about that" _Bella agreed in a tone that suggested that she was referring to something else. If it was about the day that I left her then I would kill myself for being so stupid and causing such a felony.

"_Where do you want to eat?" _

"_I don't care" _

"_Okay." _Jessica then began babbling about trivial things to do with the movie and I could tell that Bella wasn't really listening and even if she was then she wasn't showing any interest. When Jessica realised this too she shut up and looked even more infuriated than before. I guess their friendship wasn't going to return any time soon. Perhaps she should have taken Angela but then again if I hadn't left then I could have taken her but it was moot point because I wasn't going to take her anywhere ever again. The injustice of life was killing me. Bella seemed to realise that Jessica had stopped prattling and tried to fix her mistake with an apologetic smile which wasn't accepted. They seemed to be walking towards an open McDonald's when Bella's eyes suddenly focused on four men at a grimy pub and then stopped and took a step towards them almost, seeming as if someone was compelling her to approach them. One of them looked up at her with interest and I had to restrain the growl that was making its way up.

"_Bella, what are you doing?" _Yes, what are you doing? Go back to Jessica, now! Come on, please! For me. Despite my inaudible pleas, she began walking towards them, ignoring Jessica's voice as well. It took Bella the length to walk halfway across the street for Jessica to respond and grab her arm.

"_Bella, you can't go into a bar" _Jessica hissed. Yes, listen to Jessica this one time and go back. Please!

"I'm not going in, I just want to see something…" See what? Yourself get killed!

"_Are you crazy? Are you suicidal" _

"_No I'm not." _She defended. The question had been rhetorical, what was happening to her? Would she ever recover? Jessica seemed shocked too as her mouth hung open and her eyes were wide with Bella's words.

"_Go eat, I'll catch up in a minute" _Bella encouraged. Jessica stared at her like she'd spoken Pig Latin and didn't respond, looking flabbergasted. Bella then turned away from Jessica and back to the men who were giving her looks that I didn't appreciate and wanted to wring their necks for. Their thoughts weren't much better.

"_Bella, stop this right now_"

I said furiously, wishing that she could somehow hear me. Miraculously, as if she could hear my words, she stopped dead in her tracks and looked around her in shock. Had I somehow been given the power to talk to her even while I was from the past? It didn't matter, all that mattered was that I could warn her now against the reckless behaviour she was performing.

"That explains it" Isabelle breathed. I didn't have time to respond to her words while I was thinking so desperately of how to ward Bella from those potentially dangerous men. I then ran as if for my life and waved my hands in front of her. She didn't seem to react. Hmm, this miracle must be restricted to the point where she can only hear me.

"_Go back to Jessica, you promised- nothing stupid" _I ordered. Bella just stood there and stared at where I was standing, shaking her head and obviously wondering where my voice was coming from.

"_Keep your promise" _It took a few minutes for her to do anything, she just stood there looking bewildered and strangely grateful.

"Why is she grateful?" I whispered to Isabelle in frustration.

"Because she got to hear your voice again and remember you without any pain" She answered wearily. When she did move, it was in the wrong direction. She was moving towards those vile men! Why couldn't she just see me? That would be enough to stop anyone.

"_Bella, turn around" _I growled as I realised that she wasn't listening.

"_Hi, can I help you with something? You look lost" _The moronic guy winked causing me to want to rip his head off in my anger.

"_No I'm not lost." _

"_Can I buy you a drink_

"_I'm too young" _Too right you are Bella, now get away from them.

"_From across the street, you looked like someone I knew. Sorry, my mistake." _Ah they bore the same resemblance as the men that had wanted to rape her last year. Why on earth would she want to approach them then?

"_That's okay, stay and hang out with us." _NO, go back to Jessica. Stay away from those freaks!

"_Thanks but I can't." _Bella responded looking back at Jessica. Are you serious? She would have hung out with them if Jessica weren't present? Maybe I shouldn't leave after all…

"_Oh just a few minutes" _He encouraged. Bella thankfully shook her head and rejoined Jessica who was staring at her as if she had grown ten arms.

"_What were you thinking? You don't know them- they could have been psychopaths" _Jessica snapped at Bella. Bella shrugged stating that she thought she knew one of the guys. I had dealt with Lonnie long ago and if he returned to this earth then it wouldn't be as one of the living.

"_You are so odd Bella Swan. I fell like I don't know who you are" _That's because she has totally changed and not in an excellent or healthy way.

"_Sorry." _Bella frowned. Their walk to the fast food place was one of silence despite the numerous times that Bella had tried to launch conversation. Jessica had evidently been pushed too far this time, it seemed. If felt like no time at all that Bella was back at her house and apologising to Jessica to try to leave their friendship on a friendlier note. Even Bella in the state she was in should have known that it was inconceivable. When she walked in Charlie was waiting for her, his thoughts and expression furious. He obviously didn't believe Bella's earlier words.

"_Where have you been" _He demanded after Bella gave him a feeble "hey".

"_I went to a movie in Port Angeles with Jessica. Like I told you this morning." _She told him in surprise, glancing up at him.

"_Humph" _He grunted, believed her answer. The veracity was unmistakable in her words in any case.

"Is that okay?"

"_Yeah that's fine. Did you have fun?"_ Hardly. If he knew what she'd really done then he'd restrain her from leaving the house until she was thirty.

"_Sure, we watched zombies eat people. It was great." _It seemed that no matter what happened, Bella would always have to lie for my sake and hers although she didn't even know I was there so it didn't really count. His eyes narrowed as he took in her words.

"_Night, Dad." _Bella hinted. He didn't have any noticeable response and let her pass through as if nothing was wrong. It was lucky that Bella couldn't read his thoughts. The second she reached her room, she lay back on her bed and just stared at the ceiling. Before even two minutes had passed, she began to curl up into a ball of misery as if she was trying to hold herself together. What. Had. I. Done!

**I hope that was of sufficient length and quality. One thing I need to know is if people like the story in this format (Using quotes from the book and Edward's thoughts towards them). That information would be very helpful to me to write the next chapter so please tell me what you think. Thanks for reading. **** Please review! **


	4. Moterbikes

**Chapter 4: Moterbikes  
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**Sorry for the delay but I'm kind of juggling three stories at once but had enough time to manage writing this one despite the chaos of this and last week for me. Thanks to all my reviewers. You guys rule more than my username (However true it is) and the world ;D **

The remainder of the night felt like a weird twisted sense of deja-vu starting from the fact that I was kneeling beside her as she slept. The differences between the last time I did this and now was immense and seemed like a slap in the face to me because now her face was no longer tranquil and at ease. It was aggrieved and tormented as she tossed continually and her expression grew more distressed in every toss. The words she spoke in her sleep were pleading and repetitive. They consisted of my name and the words; _abandon, lost, nothing, find, love, life _and_ meaningless_. Even a complete idiot such as myself could understand what dreams plagued her mind and it didn't exactly help my resolve nor make the decision I would have to make any easier. The guilt sickened me into silence and I for once had no question for Isabelle. Abruptly and alarmingly, a high pitched but undeniably genuine scream escaped her dry lips and I jumped up reflexively, my hands rubbed against her back consolingly but had no effect on her screams. It felt as if I were touching air but there was a barrier to stop my hand from falling through it. Regardless, I was touching her.

"You told me that I couldn't touch her" I roared in anguish at Isabelle.

"You _can _touch her but she won't feel it and neither can you" She stepped back instinctively from my outburst and her eyes contained fright. Her face was so similar to Bella's despite her eyes that I felt regretful for snapping at her and my tone softened.

"If she can't feel me then can she see me or hear me? Perhaps that is the reason why she is screaming" I reasoned but Isabelle was already shaking her head.

"No, she cannot see or hear you but as we discovered earlier today, she can hear you when she's in immediate danger" She explained earnestly. "But, the reason why she is screaming is the fault of her nightmares. Not you"

"But…" I started but was cut off by the sound of Bella's heavy breathing and the cease of her agonized shrieks.

"You'd think Charlie would have heard that" I muttered.

"Oh Charlie heard that all right but he's too used to it by now even to need to check on her"

"Too _used _to it" I gritted my teeth in self-loathing.

"Ugh, I think we should move on a few hours. Your pessimism is killing me" She groaned, pressing her talisman without warning to my cold arm before the world turned to nothing and dark was all I knew.

….

"_Newtons _outfitters" I seethed as I recognised my surroundings. "Is this some sort of cruel joke"

"Well her day was as mundane as the others and she basically did nothing but fulfil her obligations lifelessly until it was time to leave for work which as you know is here" She gestured to the store sign. "Now here is where it gets interesting"

"I'm starting to despise that word" I sighed, turning to where Mike was talking to Bella and receiving no response. I realised that she was listening to two men who were discussing something intently among themselves. Bella didn't even appear faintly interested and looked as if she were trying to tune out their conversation but with no noticeable success. Curious, I listened into their conversation to see which words Bella couldn't ignore. The conversation was mundane and almost expected of an average hiker.

"How is this important?" I asked Isabelle, feeling frustrated at my lack of knowledge.

"Well the bears they are discussing are actually wolves. Werewolves" She finished with a smile as if she had been anticipating my reaction for years instead of seconds. Now that I thought about it, the two men who were discussing their sighting of supposed 'grizzly bears' description was almost identical to the wolves my family had encountered back when Ephraim Black was around. If these hikers' description was accurate then it could mean that the wolves were back and if they were then that my family had a lot more problems to deal with and an even more pressing issue would be at hand. If the wolves were back then Bella would inevitably be involved in their mess and be in danger. She was a danger magnet and there was no way that she could escape this occurrence. How ironic! I would leave to save her and then leave her in the hands of werewolves. I shuddered internally at the thought of her even having eye contact with one of them.

"Yes. The wolves will be a part of yours and Bella's future inevitably" She answered my unspoken question.

"Great, just great" I groaned and then turned my attention back to Bella before Isabelle could reveal any more unpleasant news.

"_Seriously, Bella, as soon as these two give up, I'm closing the place down," _Mike informed her as if he had told her to leave numerous times and she hadn't listened. I growled at the fact that the idiotic boy could talk to her and I couldn't.

"_If you want me to go…" _Bella shrugged. Did she want to stay with him? Had something formed between them in the time that Isabelle and I had travelled? If it had then I wasn't sure that I could go any further. I looked into his mind for confirmation.

'_Oooh does she want me to stay? I would for her but she's kind of messed up now so…' _He thought. I let out a gust of air I had been holding in, in my relief and was glad that she hadn't dated such a fool, or dated anyone that wasn't me. I chastened myself for thinking that way immediately and focused on Bella's pale face.

"_See you Monday" _Bella mumbled before running out of the store and into the rain, dashing for her truck. Not wanting to trail behind her like last time, I got into the truck with her and watched as she drove her desecrated truck back to her house. It only took me a moment to realise that there was no music blaring from her stereo. Not even a whisper. I frowned, looking at where the stereo _should _have been and discovering a hole as if it had been ripped from it intentionally. I then remembered seeing it at the back of her closet and discovered that not only did she feel physical pain from remembering us but even music caused the same effect in her.

"I am truly a monster" I sighed.

"Don't you dare say that" Isabelle snapped, her tone irritated.

"You sound just like Bella" I smiled sadly.

"Well then maybe you should listen to her" She suggested, her dominant emotion being annoyance as if she had heard this many times before. Perhaps she had but from other people other than myself.

My head snapped up in surprise as Bella stomped on the brake and the car halted to a complete stop in a street that was seemed as unfamiliar to her as it did to me. Without warning, she then slumped her head over the steering wheel and curled up onto a ball on the car seat, her arms wrapping around herself tightly as if to stop herself from breaking apart.

"What is she doing?" I asked, my voice revealing the extreme horror I was experiencing, wishing more than ever that I could read Bella's mind.

"She's thinking of you. Your last words to her" Isabelle replied softly.

"Why did I have to lie and break her heart? Why?" I exclaimed out of despair.

"Remember this is the future and it can be changed" she reminded me brightly.

"I am still indecisive" I told her stubbornly, refusing to make a decision at this point when the future was so indistinct.

"You have plenty of time" She told me, leaning back into the car seat with ease. I was then distracted by the sound of Bella pounding her head on the steering wheel lightly and laughing without humour, without life. It was a forced laugh and one I had never expected to hear from her, one which was so…dead. She then settled back into the seat and took a deep breath, staring out the windshield with no emotion comprehendible on her pallid face. Unexpectedly she cut the engine and groaned before stepping out into the cold rain. Not seeming to know where she was, she took a look around and then freezing still as she perceived a sign announcing the selling of two run-down motorbikes. Something new swept across her face and she began walking towards the house.

"No…" I closed my eyes in utter disbelief. "No. No. NO" I screamed in frustration as I watched her ring the doorbell. She couldn't be doing what I thought she was doing could she? Isabelle laughed nervously but I ignored her. She couldn't be thinking, even contemplating buying those motorcycles could she? She would get herself killed. Once again irony was staring me in the face. No, I wouldn't kill her but a motorbike would! Would the risks never end?

"Why...? Why, Isabelle? Why?" I groaned.

"You broke your promise so she's intent on breaking hers" Isabelle informed me, watching Bella as she began discussing the bikes with the boy at the door.

"What promise" I seethed.

"The one where you told her that it would be like you never existed"

"I'm such an insensitive…" I struggled for the right word to describe the monstrosity that was me.

Isabelle sighed. "Just, watch" I turned back to Bella to see the boy help her carry the bikes onto her truck. Didn't he know what he was doing? That he could be the reason for her untimely death? His ignorance sickened me into silence.

"_What are you going to do with them, anyway? They haven't worked in years." _And they better not start working any time soon otherwise I would find the boy and strangle him.

"_I kind of guessed that. Maybe I should take them to Dowlings" _She mused although her voice portrayed no interest.

"_Dowling would charge more to fix them than they'd be worth running." _Yes Bella. Think of the expenses.

"_You know what? That's okay. I know someone who builds cars." _WHAT! She better be bluffing!

"_Oh. That's good" _It was nice that the boy expressed some concern for her but it was in the wrong area. He waved to her friendly as she drove back to her house hastily. The second she reached the house, she raced to the phone and dialled a number which was unfamiliar to me.

"_Chief Sawn please, it's Bella" _She answered into the phone. Why was she calling Chief Swan? Charlie would have a heart-attack if he found out that she bought two motorcycles and Bella was more than intelligent enough to know that.

"_Can't I call you at work without there being an emergency" _She spoke into the phone with a twinge of surprise.

"_No. I just wanted directions to the Black's place" _Jacob Black? My jaw clenched as I realised that he could possibly be a werewolf and my body burned with jealously as I remembered his crush on Bella at the prom. _"I'm not sure I can remember the way. I want to visit Jacob. I haven't seen him in months." _

"Why did it have to be the wolf child" I groaned.

Isabelle frowned at my expression. "You better get used to him because you'll be seeing him a lot"

"Perfect" I muttered, jealousy coursing through me. I then watched Bella place the phone on hold and run to get a pen and a pad of paper before she wrote down the directions of the infuriating boy's address.

"_I'll be back for dinner_" She assured him but her expression could be depicted as anxious although it was only a twinge. It seemed like every emotion she felt was only a fragment of the real thing, excluding her pain. That was the one emotion that she got to keep and one that was ruining her life. It was unjust that the most selfless and kind people ended worse off than the ones who were selfish and malicious. Bella deserved more.

Bella's ride to the Black's residence was quiet and even Isabelle had no comment's to make. It made me feel strangely lonely but I pressed myself to get used to it because when I left for real I would never escape it. _If _I left. Damn, I needed to stop that before I made up my mind too early. I sighed and looked at the approaching house, irritated to find that Jacob was already peering out of his window and anticipating her visit before they had even become close. _'This is bad '_I thought as I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. _'This is exceedingly bad'_

"_Bella!" _He called out to her excitedly. If he even touched her…

"_Hey, Jacob!" _She smiled back although her smile was short-lived and not as full of life as it used to be. Still, it was an improvement. Damn Jacob for being the one to make her happy. _You grew again!" _She told him in surprise. A growth spurt was a symptom of a looming werewolf transformation and that only made the incident a whole lot worse than it already was.

"_Six five" _He would only have a few more months of normal in the least. I cursed in annoyance. He was taller than me and if a confrontation occurred then he would appear more intimidating, if he was a wolf at least and have another advantage. That was if I didn't snap his neck in the first second.

"_Is it ever going to stop? You're huge" _It better.

"_Still a beanpole, though. Come inside! You're getting all wet." _He grimaced, tying his hair into an unattractive ponytail and walked into the house with Bella.

"_Hey, Dad. Look who stopped by." _Jacob called out to his father who was reading a book in his living room.

"_Well, what do you know! It's good to see you, Bella" _Billy shook Bella's hand. The look of glee on his face was unmistakable and I held back a growl.

"_What brings you out here? Everything okay with Charlie" _Would she see you if that was the case?

"_Yes, absolutely. I just wanted to see Jacob- I haven't seen him in forever" _ I hoped that her words were covering up her real reason and she didn't really mean it. The jealousy was crushing me now.

"_Can you stay for dinner?" _Billy asked Bella eagerly.

"_No, I've got to feed Charlie, you know." _She told a half-truth.

"_I'll call him now. He's always invited." _

"_It's not like you'll never see me again. I promise I'll be back again soon- so much you'll get sick of me." _I grumbled at her words and hoped that they weren't the case… unless they made her happy.

"_Okay, maybe next time." _Billy chortled.

_So, Bella, what do you want to do?" _Jacob asked Bella hopefully.

"_Whatever. What were you doing before I interrupted." _She said looking strangely at ease although not totally. It wouldn't take one visit to heal her completely although she looked relatively better from the zombie she could be compared to before.

"_I was just heading out to work on my car, but we can do something else…" _He trailed off.

"_No, that's perfect! I'd love to see your car." _Since when was Bella into cars? This must be to do with her motorcycle ruse.

"_Okay. It's out back, in the garage" _He informed her before leading her to his 'garage'. His vehicle was decent considering it wasn't complete but that didn't improve my view on him.

"_What kind of Volkswagen is that?" _Bella asked, trying to begin conversation.

"_It's an old rabbit- 1986, a classic." _

"_How's it going?" _She inquired.

"_Almost finished. My dad made good on his promise last spring" _ His voice lowered as he mentioned his dad's promise and I knew why. How dare he mention that to her when she could break down as something as simple as thinking about me!

"_Ah" _Her voice became dark but then she tried to avoid the subject by subtly changing the topic.

"_Jacob, what do you know about motorcycles?" _Bella asked._ 'Please be nothing'_ I thought desperately.

"_Some. My friend Embry has a dirt bike. We work on it together sometimes. Why?" _

"_Well…," _She pursed her lips as if she were considering how to tell him how to ask him the favour which I wished she wouldn't ask. _"I recently acquired a couple of bikes, and they're not in the greatest condition. I wonder if you could get them running?" _Please say no! Please say no!

"_Cool .I'll give it a try" _I wanted to kill the boy for endangering Bella's safety by agreeing to such a notion. Bella raised up one finger in warning to the boy who listened eagerly to her next words.

"_The thing is that Charlie doesn't approve of motorcycles, Honestly, he'd probably bust a vein in his forehead if he knew about his" _For a good reason. _"So you can't tell Billy" _Like he would!

"_Sure, sure, I understand." _

"Of course he does" I grumbled. Isabelle had no comment and was silently watching the pair.

"_I'll pay you" _Bella offered, pleasing me by offending the irritating boy.

"_No. I want to help. You can't pay me." _

"_Well… how about a trade then? I only need one bike- and I'll need lessons, too. So how about this? I'll give you the other bike, and then you can teach me." _This was getting worse by the second!

"_Swee-eet." _

"_Wait a sec- are you legal yet? When's your birthday?" _ I hoped that it was in another year so he couldn't teach her.

"_You missed it, I'm sixteen." _Damn.

"_Not that your age ever stopped you before, sorry about your birthday." _

"Why did she have to make friends with a troublemaker, why?" I moaned to myself.

"He will keep her alive on countless occasions so you better be grateful for his presence" Isabelle murmured.

"That doesn't make me feel any better" I hissed.

"_Don't worry about it. I missed yours. What are you, forty?" _Jacob laughed, causing Bella to sniff.

"The idiot mentioned age" I muttered.

"_Close" _

"_We'll have a joint party to make up for it." _

"_Sounds like a date" _

"WHAT!" I yelled in my shock. "It would have helped to warn me of this!" I fumed at Isabelle who rolled her eyes.

"She was speaking figuratively but Jacob doesn't know that"

"_Maybe when the bikes are finished – our present to ourselves,"_ She added.

"_Deal. When will you bring them down?" _Jacob asked, his anticipation barely contained. Bella looked embarrassed as she answered.

"_They're in my truck now," _

"_Great." _

"_Will Billy see if we bring them around?" _Hopefully.

"_We'll be sneaky." _Jacob winked at Bella before they both walked to Bella's truck and Jacob unloaded the bikes.

"_These aren't half-bad. This one here will actually be worth something when I'm done- it's an old Harley Sprint." _Jacob commented.

"_That one's yours, then." _

"_Are you sure?" _

"_Absolutely." _

"_These are going to take some cash, though. We'll have to save up for parts first." '_No Bella, don't use up all your money on something that could take your life!' I thought desperately to myself.

"We nothing. _If you're doing this for free, I'll pay for the parts_" Bella was always so stubborn and this time for a very bad reason.

"_I don't know…," _

"_I've got some money saved. College fund, you know." _She said casually and Jacob nodded in agreement.

"How can she spend her collage funds, her future on something as stupid as this?" I demanded of Isabelle.

"She wants to be distracted for the pain….and to hear you" Isabelle answered quietly.

"Hear me" I whispered in my shock.

"Remember in Port Angeles with Jessica? Every time Bella is in danger she will be able to hear you so choose your words carefully. You must not tell her the truth yet. It will stuff up history" Isabelle warned. I nodded and then turned back to Bella who was walking back with Jacob to the garage.

**Sorry if the end of the chapter was a little crappy but I was writing it while minding my nephews. Thanks for reading! Please review! ;) **


	5. Ignorance is Bliss

**Chapter 5: Ignorance is Bliss**

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews and support. Here is chapter five: **

"These motorbikes won't cause Bella injury will they?" I repeated one of my earlier questions to Isabelle as we watched Jacob pull apart the red tinted bike apart.

"Well, uh. You'll see. It's nothing serious…" She trailed off as she saw the livid expression on my face.

"I swear I'm going to kill this boy. If Bella gets hurt," I closed my eyes in pain, not even considering the thought and its consequences. I then turned my attention back to Bella and watched intently as she sat patiently in the poorly built car and nodded in response to Jacob's trivial chatting.

"So, sophomore year is going pretty well. My courses aren't too bad and my friends Quil and Embry…"

"_Quil and Embry? Those are unusual names_." Bella interrupted, portraying interest in the conversation for the first time and causing Jacob to chuckle. I didn't blame her. They were strange names…

"_Quil is a hand-me down" _

Like my name, I wondered if he resented it at all. I can't say that I favoured my father for that.

"_And I think that Embry got named after a soap opera star. I can't say anything, though. They'll tag team you." _

"_Good friends." _Bella raised an eyebrow. Perhaps that's why he was so enthusiastic towards Bella considering that his friends weren't the best. I laughed without humour at the fact that I was making excuses for Jacob's obvious infatuation with Bella. I couldn't stop anything that happened here no matter to what extent I tried.

"_No, they are. Just don't mess with their names." _

They probably shouldn't go near Emmett then. If I got berated for my name then the teasing that they would receive would be chaos.

"_Jacob." _A youthful male voice sounded from the distance.

"_Is that Billy?" _Bella asked, sounding mildly curious.

"_No." _Jacob ducked his head in chagrin and appeared to be blushing_. _

That reminded me of how I hadn't seen Bella blush this entire time. How I missed how soft she appeared when her cheeks reddened, how her beauty increased and trumped anyone else's and how her exquisite chocolate brown eyes travelled to the ground in order to hide her chagrin. What I would give to see her blush again…

"_Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear." _The boy muttered.

"_Jake? Are you out here?" _

"_Yeah!" _Jacob sighed with what seemed like disappointment.

I didn't like the fact that he didn't want to share Bella with his friends or even that he was there with her at all. He wasn't hers to share. Then again, she wasn't mine to share either so how could I act as if I had a claim to her when I had clearly abandoned her. The thought caused my disconsolate mood to increase and my spirit to almost dissipate in my dejection.

Two teenage boys then ambled casually into the shed, both staring at Bella with shock and a grin stretching across the more muscular one's face. I groaned, not liking the look that he was giving her and wishing more than ever that I could be there and declare her as mine. I recognised the emotion as loneliness which began seeping through me as I realised that I could never do anything even close to that ever again.

"_Hey, guys." _Jacob waved at them nonchalantly.

"_Hey, Jake." _ The one that I perceived to be jealous of smiled at Bella and she smiled back coyly in response. The jealousy grew like a fire sweeping across a dry forest.

"_Quil, Embry- this is my friend, Bella." _

"And it better stay that status." I growled, my jealously returning to the Jacob kid.

"Well…" I Isabelle started hesitantly.

"Don't even bother." I muttered before she could infuriate me further with her 'important' information.

"_Charlie's kid, right?" _The one that seemed to like her held out his hand in a friendly gesture.

She has a name you insignificant boy!

"_That's right," _Bella shook his hand conventionally.

"_I'm Quil Ateara," _Quil announced.

"_Nice to meet you, Quil." _

"_Hey, Bella. I'm Embry, Embry call"_

"Is he flirting with her?" I demanded of Isabelle furiously.

"Wow, your jealousy is staggering. Quil and Embry both have unreciprocated crushes on her" She exclaimed. "_Call _is his last name."

"Oh." I let it drop awkwardly.

"_You probably already figured that out, though" _Embry smiled and waved at Bella.

"_Nice to meet you, too." _Bella nodded.

"_So what are you guys doing?" _Quil asked, looking at Bella and then grinning.

'Preparing Bella's funeral,' I thought and then cringed.

"_Bella and I are going to fix up these bikes." _

'And preparing to endanger Bella's life! Stupid teenage boys'

The boys then crowded the motorbikes and questions began tumbling out of their enthused mouths.

"What model is this?" Quil questioned.

"Can I have a go on it when it's done?"

"Can I have one?"

"Where did you find them?"

"What parts are you going to use?"

I looked at Bella to see her reaction and perceived it as being uninterested. She sighed suddenly and then slid out of Jacob's junk of a car. She never did understand car talk.

"_We're boring you, aren't we?" _Jacob asked apologetically.

"_Naw.I just have to go cook dinner for Charlie." _

I was glad that there was one thing that she still did despite my absence.

"_Oh… well, I'll finish taking these apart tonight and figure out what more we'll need to get started rebuilding them. _

"Can we touch objects?" I asked Isabelle purposefully.

"No, don't even thinking about trying to steal the parts. It won't work." Isabelle smirked.

"And I thought that I was the mind reader." I muttered in aggravation.

"_When do you want to work on them again?" _Jacob asked eagerly.

"_Could I come back tomorrow?" _Damn, she seemed eager too but whatever made her even the slightest bit closer to happy, I couldn't argue with. Unless they were riding the motorcycles of course or Jacob was making a move. I cringed, knowing that I would have to weaken my ties with Bella soon before I convinced myself to go back. I couldn't go back, she would heal soon enough. Jacob was proof of that.

I repressed a frown as Quil and Embry exchanged grins, noticing Jacob's obvious fixation and at Jacob's grin of delight

"_That would be great!" _

"_If you could make a list, we can go shop for parts," _Bella suggested and then watched as Jacob's face fell with confusion.

"_I'm still not sure I should let you pay for everything." _

"Doesn't he realise that she's spending her collage fund?" I inquired Isabelle.

"Well she told him before and he's kind of living in the present at the moment, not thinking about the future so…"

I sighed in response, cutting of the rest of her explanation.

"_No way. I'm bankrolling this party. You just have to supply the labour and expertise." _

"_That doesn't seem right," _Jacob shook his head.

Because it's not!

"_Jake, if I took these to a mechanic, how much would he charge me?" _Bella pointed out.

Well at least they would do an infallible and trustworthy job instead of this kid who probably doesn't know what he's doing!

"_Okay, you're getting a deal." _

Damn this boy was infuriating me, not only is he taking her collage fund and putting her in danger but he's also acting so nonchalant about it.

"_Not to mention the riding lessons," _

"Well at least she won't be alone if she gets hurt" Isabelle said optimistically when I gritted my teeth and my eyes narrowed. I shook my head and didn't answer.

Quil then grinned at Embry and whispered something in his ear and if I had the ability to touch, I would have crushed the flimsy wood that I was leaning against in response. He had whispered that Jacob might have a new girlfriend if things kept progressing the way they were. I couldn't deny the truth in his words and knew that if it came to that, I couldn't do anything about it. She wasn't mine anymore.

"_That's it, get out," _Jacob muttered at his friends, hearing Quil's words and smacking his head although his thoughts were slightly pleased.

"_No, really, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow Jacob," _Bella objected before walking out the door and strangely giggling when Jacob's threats to his friends were out of earshot.

"See, she's happy now. Jacob's made her forget all about me. Is that all you wanted to show me? Thanks for being so helpful!" I snapped at Isabelle as we followed Bella to her car.

"Are you kidding me? We've only just started our journey and she's not happy for your information. Jacob made her forget about you for a little while not forever." Isabelle told me a little defensively.

"Well, with time that won't be necessary." I sighed.

"Soon he'll see." Isabelle muttered almost incoherently to herself.

Nothing of consequence happened until Charlie arrived and Bella was cooking Bella for them. She surprisingly shot him a grin with a greeting.

"If that's not happiness then I don't know what is." I exhaled.

"You don't know what I've seen." Isabelle shook her head and then shuddered.

"Oh great so now you're a fortune teller," I exclaimed with irritation.

"Close to it," She murmured.

"_Hey, honey. Did you have fun with Jacob?" _ Charlie asked Bella uncertainly.

"_Yeah, I did." _She admitted, delivering the food to the table.

"_Well, that's good. What did you two do?" _He asked warily.

"_I hung out in his garage and watched him work. Did you know that he's rebuilding a Volkswagen?" _Bella said carefully, obviously not wanting him to know of what she really did in the garage or what she planned to do.

"_Yeah, I think Billy mentioned that." _

Bella looked relived when Charlie stopped interrogating her in his hurry to eat and was silent throughout the remainder of their dinner. After it she seemed content to clean and do her homework or content to distract herself it seemed.

"Ugh, okay. Let's just skip to the next morning." Isabelle said suddenly.

"Why?" I questioned suspiciously.

"Nothing happens and I want to get to the point." She explained before touching my shoulder lightly and transporting us to Bella's room twelve hours later. I watched silently as Bella sat up abruptly in her bed, a smile of disbelief on her face. I looked at Isabelle questionably.

"She woke up for the first time without having a nightmare." Isabelle explained.

"See, you _are_ trying to show me that Jacob is better for her then I ever was." I accused furiously.

"Stop judging my motives and no. You are better for her than Jacob is and the point of this trip is to show you that." Isabelle retorted.

"Well, I'm certainly not getting that impression." I huffed.

"That's it. We're skipping a day ahead." She growled. "Then maybe you'll see what I mean."

She grabbed my arm fiercely and it seemed as if the scene hadn't changed, all except for her terrified screams which were muffled by her pillow.

"Great." I said sarcastically, trying to not let the pain seep through. "So you're here to show me that nothing can help her."

"No, I'm here to show you that, _you _and Bella belong together not _Jacob _and Bella."

"All this is showing is that I was never meant for her in the first place." I replied bitterly.

"I'm showing you that neither of you can live without the other." She snapped. "That your bond is as strong if not stronger than any other vampire mating phenomenon."

"She's human, it's not the same." I protested.

"That doesn't make the slightest of a difference and soon you'll see why."

"My patience is wearing. Can we get on with it?"

"As you wish," She sighed.

During our discussion, I had missed Bella's miniscule talk with Charlie at breakfast and she was already starting up her truck so that she could drive to school, but I got the gist of their conversation through Charlie's mind. He was just surprised- and wary- to find Bella as aware as she was the previous day.

During her classes she seemed to be confused as if the past few months had been a dream and she was trying to regain everything she used to have before the dream. Every time she looked at someone near her who was conversing with someone else, she gave a look as if she wanted to talk to them but didn't know how. She finally spoke to someone in Calculus- Jessica. Not the ideal person in my mind, considering Jessica's hostile thoughts towards her.

"_Hey, Jess," _She asked causally, polite as usual. _"How was the rest of your weekend?" _

"_Super," _Her thoughts were not as kind.

"_That's good," _Bella mumbled back, too late considering that Jessica had already turned back to her book. Sensing Jessica's coldness and seeming to take it literally, she put her jacket on quietly.

At lunch it was the same, everyone took to ignoring her like they had for the past few months and were discussing the mysterious 'bears.' that Angela had seen. Bella - trying to get included and to save Angela from her embarrassment of everyone's disbelief- commented on how a hiker at Newtons Outfitters had seen the 'bears' too. The whole room went silent and the sound of a pin dropping could have been heard. Everyone at the table had their eyes on Bella, their mouths open in shock.

"_Mike? Remember the guy with the bear story?" _Bella asked, sounding and appearing mortified, her cheeks hinting at the first sign of a blush that I had seen on this journey. But the blush didn't come and she wasn't completely back to normal.

"_S-sure," _Mike stuttered. "_Yeah, there was a guy who said he saw a huge black bear right at the trailhead- bigger than a grizzly,"_

"_Hmph" _Lauren said uninterestedly and turned back to Jessica. Everyone else turned away with the exception of Angela and Mike. Angela smiled at Bella shyly and Bella returned the smile quickly, although it was only a ghost of a smile that Angela received.

"_So what did you do this weekend, Bella?" _Mike asked, unsure of what her response would be. Lauren was the only person who didn't turn back around to hear her answer.

"_Friday night, Jessica and I went to a movie in Port Angles. And then I spent Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday down at La Push." _

To say that everyone's dominant emotion was surprise was an understatement.

"_What movie did you see?" _Mike asked.

"_Dead-End- the one with the zombies." _She grinned, Mike couldn't seem to understand that her smiles were forced.

"_I heard that was scary. Did you think so?" _

"_Bella had to leave at the end, she was so freaked," _Jessica smiled, but it wasn't a friendly. Bella's attempt at fake chagrin was not too bad but I saw through it.

"When will she be her normal self again?" I asked Isabelle - my voice pained- who was watching my reactions intently.

"You'll see." Isabelle smiled slightly.

"So, she'll snap out of this." I asked hopefully.

"Only when you return." Isabelle said ominously.

"_It was pretty scary." _Bella said in response to Jessica's words. The rest of Mike's questions - and Angela's too- were trivial but I could sense the concern and hope in them. The questions continued until the bell signalled the end of the lunch break. When Bella went to empty her tray Angela followed.

"At least she has one true friend to confide in." I muttered aloud.

"You did take her best friend with you when you left. Alice was her closest friend."

"Do you really think that the clean break process would have worked if the rest of my family didn't leave too?" I asked disbelievingly.

"So many mistakes…" She shook her head. "And now is your chance to fix them."

"I'm not doing anything yet. Not until I know everything I can." I replied with frustration layering my voice.

"Once you see everything, I'm sure that you will."

"_Thanks." _Angela said to Bella once they had emptied their trays.

"_For what?" _

"_Speaking up, sticking up for me." _

"_No problem." _

"_Are you okay?" _Angela asked, her concern for Bella taking over every other thought in her mind.

"_Not completely. But I'm a little better." _ She admitted. At least she was aware of her own state. Now all she needed to do was fix it, and soon.

"_I'm glad. I've missed you." _Angela's words were genuine unlike Jessica's, who was walking with Lauren and discussing Bella's return to almost normality scornfully. Angela rolled her eyes at them and smiled at Bella kindly. If I ever went back, another gift would be given to Angela for her kindness towards my reason for living.

"_What's today's date?" _Bella wondered abruptly

"_It's January nineteenth." _

How ironic. It was the day before yesterday that Bella had first walked into my life. Stumbled would be a more accurate term if I was being specific. More than ever I wished that I was human, so that when she first walked into the cafeteria, her beauty would be the only thing that intrigued me and that nobody would question me if I went up to talk to her, gave her a tour around the school, if we exchanged coy glances. Our discussion in biology would have been pleasant and I wouldn't have been battling the urge to kill her. In fact, I would be there now, walking next to her while holding her hand, having no cares in the world. No worries, just focusing on my love for her, my hand in hers. But such a thing was fantasy for someone like me and she deserved to spend it with another boy regardless. Not me. She deserved better.

"_Hmm." _

"_What is it?" _Angela asked curiously.

"_It was a year ago yesterday that I had my first day here," _So she remembered too. But what was she remembering of? I knew it wasn't me; otherwise her face would have been contorted with pain. I needed to set this right!

"_Nothing's changed much," _Angela muttered.

"_I know. I was just thinking the same thing."_

"Wouldn't that remind her of me?" I questioned.

"She knows how to block you from her mind. To keep the pain out" Isabelle answered softly. "Touch my arm. There is nothing more to see from this day. We're getting to the vital stuff"

I obeyed silently and didn't react when everything faded.

**Please review! Any feedback is valued and I would really appreciate it :D **


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